Baby One More Time:
The Britney Report
Hit me Baby One
As the smash hit that defined a generation turns 20, Stylight is looking back on the song that singlehandedly launched Britney Spears' career and revitalized the teen pop genre of the late 1990s.
Spears was just 17 when "...Baby One More Time" was released. "The whole song is about that stress that we all go through as teens," she told The Guardian. "I knew it was a great song. It was different and I loved it, [but] I don't think you can anticipate how a song is going to be received."
Well, not only did "...Baby One More Time" sell 500,000 copies on its first day of release in the United States, but it went on to reach No. 1 in at least 10 countries and was the UK's best-selling song of 1999.
Britney Spears would go on to record several No. 1 hits, including "Womanizer" in 2008, "S&M" in 2011, and "Hold It Against Me" in the same year. The mother-of-two made a comeback for the ages after her notorious public breakdown in 2007, scoring herself a Las Vegas residency from 2013-2017.
So there we have it, now tell us, what kind of Britney are you?
The Five Stages of Life and Career
America's Sweetheart: 1993-1999
Britney Spears was already winning over fans when she was just 11 years old as a star of the Mickey Mouse Club. Alongside her costars Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, and Christina Aguilera, Spears became a recognizable face when she starred on the show from 1993-1994. In 1999, Spears released her debut album "...Baby One More Time", which quickly reached No.1; the title track spent 32 weeks on the Billboard Chart.
Photo: Getty Images
Seductive Songstress: 2000-2003
The Mississippi-native released her second studio album, "Oops!... I Did It Again", in May 2000 which, at the time, broke the record for the highest debut-week album sales by a female artist. Spears released her self-titled album "Britney" the following year and her fourth album in four years "In the Zone" in 2003.
Photo: Getty Images
Problem Child: 2004-2006
What goes up must come down, well, at least that's what they say. Although Spears experienced immense success through her first few albums, the mid-2000s seemed to shed the image of innocence that her early career garnered. During this period Spears got married not once, but twice, first to her childhood friend in Las Vegas' Little White Chapel in 2004 (the marriage lasted for a whopping 55 hours) and her second was later that year to Kevin Federline, a backup dancer who would later father her two children. Spears released her first Greatest Hits album "Greatest Hits: My Prerogative" in 2004.
Photo: Getty Images
Absolute Breakdown: 2007-2008
There's no sugar coating it, 2007 was a rough year for Britney. From the failure of her marriage to K.Fed, accusations of being an unfit parent and relentless harassment from the paparazzi, it's no wonder Brit lost her cool. During this time her professional life seemed to mimic her personal trials and tribulations as was so evident in her MTV VMA performance of "Gimme More." The less-than-stellar appearance was notoriously mocked by the media which probably didn't help Brit's state of mind at the time. But alas, Britney's breakdown has made for one hell of a meme: "If Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through today."
Photo: Getty Images
Phoenix from the Ashes: 2009-Present
Britney proved to be the ultimate comeback queen in late 2008 with the release of her sixth album "Circus." Her new album reminded the world why we love Britney: she's sassy, sweet, and a damn good performer. In 2012, the Womanizer singer signed a $15M contract to be a jury member of The X Factor, was named Forbes' best-paid female artist and signed a residency contract at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. The pop diva released three more albums, a string of No.1 hits and, most recently, signed a contract bringing her back to Vegas in 2019 in which she will reportedly earn $500K/show. Three cheers for Britney!
Photo: Getty Images
Song: Baby One More Time
'... My loneliness is killing me (and I)
I must confess I still believe (still believe)
When I´m not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time...'
Loneliness can kill you, seriously. A study found that for people under the age of 65, loneliness, social isolation, and living alone are factors in explaining early death. Researchers discovered that whether participants subjectively felt lonely or were objectively isolated made no difference when it comes to mortality risk. The quality of personal relationships matters to our health; it's not about how many people we socialize with, but the quality of those connections.
The taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slippin' under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?...'
Yes, being in love can be a real addiction. Some studies have shown that romantic love is a natural occurring addiction that developed in mammals as a survival mechanism. The physical components of a love addiction are linked to neurotransmitters, which stimulate the brain's reward system.
Common signs of a love addiction include A) Frequently beginning relationships with emotionally unavailable people; B) Confusing sex with love; C) Difficulty leaving bad relationships, and D) Returning to emotionally unavailable or toxic partners.
Song: Oops!...I Did It Again
'... I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
It might seem like a crush But it doesn´t mean that I´m serious
Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby'
It is highly unlikely to lose all of your senses. The five senses are sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. While it is possible to lose your sense of sight and sound, your abilities to taste and smell are controlled by olfactory nerves, which, interestingly, are the only parts of the nervous system that can regenerate after they've been damaged.
Song: I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman
'... I´m not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I´m in between
I´m not a girl'
When does a girl become a woman? Well, in many cultures this happens when a girl experiences her first period. While every girl's body has its own schedule, the average age for menstruation is around 12 years old. Although, few people in the Western world would perceive someone to be a woman at the age of 12.
From the ages of 10 to 12, a person is considered a preteen. Britney Spears was 20 years old when this song was released in 2001; eight years older than when her limbo preteen faze would have ended. Although she may have been lagging emotionally, physically, she was an adult woman.
Song: Work B**ch
'...You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati? You better work bitch
You want a Lamborghini? Sippin' martinis?
Look hot in a bikini? You better work bitch
You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion?
Party in France?
You better work bitch, you better work bitch
So, you want a hot body? Victoria Secret legend Adriana Lima famously once said that leading up to the VS Fashion Show she restricts almost all fat and carbs from her diet and works out with her personal trainer twice a day.
You want a Bugatti? The price of a 2018 Bugatti Divo will set you back a hefty $5.8 million.
According to 2015 Census data, the median household income in the United States is $56,516. As for the average American woman? Well, she wears a size 16 to 18.
This means that if someone were to spend the total amount of their average household income on a $5.8 million Bugatti Divo, it would take them 102.63 years to pay off the car. If you factor in costs like housing payments, food, and entertainment expenses, etc., and keep in mind that, on average, only 14% of annual household expenditures should be allotted to transportation expenses, that number increases to approximately 733 years.
And as for that hot body? First of all, every body is beautiful; but if we're keeping in trend with Adriana Lima's exact measurements: the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in 2015 that the average American woman weighs 166.2 pounds. Adriana's personal trainer, Michael Olajide Jr., told Shape magazine that Adriana's "fight weight" is 135 pounds (the model is 5 '10 1/2). One pound is composed of 3500 calories, therefore that 31.2 pound difference is equal to 109,200 calories. Walking at an average pace of 3.0 mph, a woman burns approximately 230 calories an hour. With these stipulations, it would take the average-sized woman approximately 474.78 hours, or almost 20 straight days, to burn 31.2 pounds.
So yes, you'd better work (or choose a more affordable vehicle and let go of unrealistic body expectations), B**ch.